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Better beware: Your days may be numbered
Duncan Graham, Contributor, Jakarta
Will
you feel beastly when you get up Tuesday morning? That would not be
surprising, for the day’s date will read as 6/6/06. Drop the 0 and
there you have it — the Mark of the Beast!
Still bemused? That means you haven’t been cavorting in the blogsphere
recently, a zone throbbing with awful predictions from those who put
their trust in numbers.
Forget Y2K and the millennium clock. Remember Dec. 31, 1999? Come
midnight and IT systems would go into meltdown around the globe. Planes
would tumble from the stratosphere as their computer-controlled
autopilots went dormant.
This is far more serious because it invokes the hand of God — not man.
This is Merapi-style fire and brimstone stuff, not soldering irons and
silicone chips.
There’s also megabytes of comment from cyberspace skeptics who think
it’s all a truckload of bunkum — but we’ll ignore them. As my
colleagues on tabloid newspapers are wont to say — don’t let the facts
spoil a good story.
The genesis for this fear starts in the Bible where the Book of Revelation, Chapter 13, verse 18 reads: This
calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight let him calculate the number of
the beast for it is man’s number. His number is 666.
Ever since then doomsday seers have been looking for The Sign –
presumably so they can be well prepared, commit some debauchery before
they lose the chance or cash in their life insurance policies and have
a spree.
They’ve even found it on consumer product bar codes.
Apparently, 1010011 is the binary number of the beast. Watch for it on your next tube of skin whitener.
Ever wondered why Bill Gates is so rich? Well, his real name is William
Henry Gates 111. Convert this to computer codes and the number adds to
666. The Antichrist, no less! And you thought he was just a smart human
being with a strong sense of philanthropy.
The idea of microchipping every newborn babe, which some crazed
politician (the standard type) proposes on a slow news day, is certain
proof that the mark of the beast will be fulfilled. And isn’t the web
address prefix "www" Hebrew for 666?
Loonies are not the only ones with an eye on the calendar. Commerce is
right in there ready to make a killing, whoops, profit, before man and
mammon cease to exist.
Moviemaker 20th Century Fox is releasing an update of its classic film The Omen, first shown 30 years ago. The Omen 666 will open on … Well I’m not going to promote a flick I plan to flick.
As the Bible says — this calls for wisdom. I know men are beasts.
Enough women have told me that over the years, though they’ve usually
recanted during breakfast. But let’s apply a bit of logic to the
formula.
A Third-Century copy of the New Testament is said to have 616 as the dreadful digits.
Heaven forbid that the Bible is wrong. Maybe those transcribing monks
got careless with their calligraphy. Imagine one bitter winter’s night
in a medieval monastery. Gaunt figures pore over parchments. The
beeswax splutters. The gnarled fingers tremble. The goose quill slips
and one becomes six. Or six, one.
For the penmen a hieroglyphic hiccup. For us modern types, a typo.
Purists believe the calendar started 2006 years ago. They’re out of
date. It’s only been around since the 16th century. Before that was the
error-prone Julian calendar and before that a dog’s breakfast of days
and months added at will.
So maybe today is not the real 666 as predicted. That date is yet to
come. When? Consult the entrails next time you buy a chicken.
Finally, some good news for all our Muslim readers. Not to worry –
today is 9/5/1427 on the Islamic calendar, with not a 6 in sight.
Unless I add all the digits, divide by 9, add 5, subtract … Oh, what the hell.
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